Reindeer Games

Rudolf the red nose reindeer,
shot down in his territory.

Eyes of coal and a heart of darkness

The Khmer Rouge learned two things that night:
1) Snowmen hold machetes and grudges fiercely.
2) There have been stunning advancements in portable refrigeration technology.

A simple man we call Kris

My imaginary son once asked me "Daddy is Santa Claus real?" So I sat him down and told him the truth. I said, "Son, Santa Claus was real once, but that man died in Cambodia in 1970. Today, the only ones putting gifts under the tree are your mom and I." If you're reading this Kris... stay strong buddy.

The Beast With Two Live! Accounts

Time For Leftovers

I Don't Want to Work, I Just Wanna Bang on the Drum All Day...

Quick update to a previous post. This is the finished design I went with for our work blog. I kept the same basic layout as the old one, which is here if anyone missed it and cares. The bear is pretty lame (though a bear was specifically requested...for some reason), but I ended up liking his presence as it gave me something to fuck around with on holidays and stuff. This is what I put in place on Halloween, for example. I'm working on a Thanksgiving one at the moment, but I fear I may not have allowed enough room at the top for his ridiculous pilgrim hat. Fucking pilgrims, did they contribute anything to the world except for giving John Wayne an awesome catch phrase? Probably not, but I'm not good at history.

Thanks for your help on the last post, Ryan.

cod pieces of eight

I extended the background to make it fill a 7x9.5 space

thick as thieves

Mighty Mitochonrion

Bearback...

I was tasked with coming up with a logo for our work blog that featured "Grizz, the Info Bear" (it's a long, and tedious story). After about a dozen attempts of varying stylization (but consistent terribleness) I decided to go the route of a true professional, and lazily recycle the understructure I used for my last post. Classy!



If anyone reads this in the next day or so, please, give me your honest, no holds barred feedback. This is for work, so I want to know if I'm posting garbage for dozens of people to see. If it's some ass, tell me it's some ass. If it gives you boners, tell me it gives you boners, then report to jail.

In an effort to keep it simple, easily reproduced and easily adjusted in size, I decided to forgo any type of inking/line weight and use the straight up stroke tool in Illustrator. I worry that may have backfired and the result is hacky and amateurish. The background paint splatter is most likely a temporary place holder until I figure out a color scheme, and I'm sure I'll add titles/text for the final. If you want to know specifically what it will be used for, go here to see what I'm working (inflicted?) with. I'm going to replace the whole thing, but I'm keeping the same basic structure, so bearforce 1 over here is going to take the place of "George Mason University" in the upper right hand circular area over there. If you have feedback on what I can do with the rest of that jonx, I'd love to hear that as well.

The Fatman Cometh...

Killing time at work on a Saturday night.



Sorry I've been MIA lately. I'm a busy little bee(otch).

The rabbit meant business

I draw m'self... again

I want to re-vamp my website and thought about doing a portrait for my banner. This was just coming out way too creepy though.

Rip-off

I started doodling and then decided to totally ape someones style.

Back to the old standbys...

Jesus Christ I'm RUSTY.

more watery water

mouse painted

Me So Horny...

Webdesign element I'm abandoning because it looked like warmed over shit.


A masculine looking devil woman. I think the FBI could generate a psychological profile of significant heft on me based on just this little doodle.

You should see the other girl. Heyooooo!

Oh, awesome! Now that the site is enfuego I've ONCE AGAIN lost all of my uploaded pictures and filled this blog with broken images! In honor of life kicking my ass:



Yeah, when I draw myself it looks nothing like me. Perhaps this is how I idealize myself, which, I guess says a lot considering the ideal me is broken, bloody and missing teeth.

Dragon Balls...

This was my most ambitious one yet due to the gun and all the shadows, so it's also my weakest one yet. The figure is hard to read, and the likeness is especially bad. Whatevs.

Supposedly the Chinese characters say "kung fu dragon", but I don't speak Chinese, so in reality they probably say something about testicles and candy (which would be ironic, as those were the characters I was actually looking for). Also, here's an earlier version before I went ape shit on doo-dads.

Sprinkles are extra...

I'm so sorry Geoff.

Warning: Mad Skillz Alert!

This took both a lot of time and a lot of talent.



*Sorry Ryan, but you totally looked like a pompous dick in that photo.

campfire

Lincoln did not actually wear a necktie

First he'd light up a smoke,
Then he'd start droning on about Calvinism,
Then he'd get those "Kermit eyes."

Hybearspace

Imagine, if you will, a bear.
Now imagine that bear can travel through time.

Mother.. fucking... time.

Phone Etiquette

I seriously hear someone on the bus say this exact phrase at least once a month.

Making Plans For Nigel

Since the release of GTA, I haven't done any serious free-time drawing. With a gallery show around the corner, I need to start fixing that. So I grabbed a doodle out of my sketchbook and tossed some ink and colors on it. Please to enjoy.

Part 3...

Still going: Roman, "Michelle", Playboy X, Dwayne, Vlad. This time around, I got to discover it's even harder to render the female characters than I feared, so, you can probably expect not to see many ladies around here. Kinda like my birthday parties.

I'm going to keep on keeping on for a little while, but, the more fools I think to include, the more daunting the task of getting around to it actually seems. I mean, it's not like these are overly complicated, I'm just having a harder and harder time coming anywhere close to a likeness.

On deck: Dimitri, Faustin, the rest of the McReary's, Elizabeta, Phil, Bernie, Carmen, Kiki, Liberty Paper Dude, whatever other major characters I may meet as I continue through the game, and I'm hoping to get good reference of that magnificent bastard who drives Roman's cab so I can throw his sassy assy in. Shit, that's a fuckload of dudes.

Yeah, I'll probably just quit.

Part 2...

(The complete roster so far.)

Gingerbread Mandingos...

I made this little template thing in Illustrator today that makes it really easy to bang out these cookie cutter dudes in less than an hour. The results are kinda lame looking, but it's nice to mess with while I'm at work as I can just goof off playing dress up dolls without the shame of using actual dress up dolls.

I don't know if these two assholes are recognizable at all, but if I can stay interested I plan to add to the line up in the next few days.

2 from the DS

Most of my sketching is done on the bus lately.

Most of the time the most interesting subject,
is the back of someone's head.
Mostly

Today was Sketchcrawl #18.
The first one I went to was #3 back in '05.
On the way home I had a cupcake and a cup of coffee.
This is my coffee.

Y'er Yeller

I'm just fucking around with color schemes.
That is all.

A cornicopia of porno-dope-fo-ya...

Whoops! Fooled you! That name is much more titillating than what I'm actually delivering: nothing but random sketch shizz from the last week and a half or so.



The random photographs are in there because I draw a lot of this shit on work meeting hand outs, and my boss likes to tack on the odd pictures she finds when googling the various topics we'll be discussing. Some of my doodles overlap the photos, so the photos are included here as well. Why didn't I just leave out the scribbles that were connected to pictures? Because every single line I make is amazing, and shouldn't be wasted.

Happy Easter

Our mom may have called it our "Sunday best,"
but I assure you, it was the worst.

The Game Bastard...

(Alternate post Title: "The N Word.")

As good as it is, Smash Bros. fails as a concept as long as my man The Game Master goes ignored.



That's looking all kinds of wack and I know it. Much as I like dicking around in Illustrator, the things I'm not very good at (hands and feet especially) look far, far worse when I try to draw them with a mouse. The pose and body shape are kind of weird as well. Captain N ain't got no junk in the trunk.

Also! The orange gun is for fuckwads, it's gray all the way, baby! But, orange is what the character had, so I went with what was faithful. Was there really a concern at some point that someone would mistake the Nintendo Zapper for a real laser gun unless it was orange? Probably.

This is leftovers I started but didn't like where it was going and lost interest in. Why am I posting my trash? Because the higher I inflate my post count, the more I can lord it over the rest of you twats that I seem to be the only one who ever posts here anymore.



-Todd

Eye Rape...

Straight up, this is just total shit:



That was my attempt at an unsolicited caricature of my sister. Next time I'll save myself two hours and just say "Hey, want to see a caricature of you I made?" then I'll punch her right in the mouth. Her huge, ghastly, duck lipped mouth, according to what I've represented here. This isn't even a caricature, it's candy colored cartoon slander. It's libel.

That said, I'm going to make an effort to post more out and out garbage here. I know I trash talk my own work all the time, but speaking candidly (meaning, arrogantly), a lot of the stuff I deem failures I secretly am able to find small victories in. Like that "sasquatch" I posted a month back. I mean, it doesn't look like sasquatch (werewolf Hulk Hogan yadda yadda), but I think it's an overall solidly constructed face. It's like, if I made you a shit sandwich, yeah, it's probably going to be fucking disgusting and hopefully you're not going to want to eat it, but if it's got two slices of bread, some lettuce, perhaps a little provolone, I dunno, maybe an olive speared to the top with a toothpick, I still succeeded in executing the basic concept of a sandwich, right? Of course, it's an unfortunate deal breaker that it's got my shit in it, but even if I can't find my car, I'm still in the right parking lot. I think my astute and eloquently worded analogy has gotten my point across. Anyway, I want to post more stuff like this that just sucks out loud. Like, has no redeeming value whatsoever. Mostly to artificially inflate my post count by showing 9/10 of the stuff I actually draw, but also to hopefully stop worrying about presenting crap an allowing myself to move outside my comfort zone.

As an added bonus side effect, maybe you all will come to realize that I am not an infallible art god, and am instead just really, really, supernaturally good.

Doodles...

I was goofing on a Long John Silver image for possible participation in a thread on DrawingBoard, but wasn't happy enough with it to deem it worth showing in public. The hands are a lazy mess, but I can't draw that shit with a pencil, so I don't feel that bad about failing to do it with a mouse. Also, I don't know why I'm an idiot and made him leaning AWAY from the crutch. Unless your "crutch" is alcohol, I'm pretty sure you're supposed to put all of your weight on it.

When I colored him, he came out looking less like a pirate and more like a crippled leprechaun. In art we call this a "happy accident."


(click to enlarge that sumbitch so it doesn't look so pixely and weird.)


Half finished junk I have no intention of turning into whole finished junk:

Colors! me bad

So I've been pretty quiet here lately. The only free-time drawing I've really been doing has been on my DS on the way to work. So here are my latest commute drawings from the past couple days. They might be digital, but without an "undo" feature, this is the closest thing I've done to painting in a long time. If I set this up correctly you should be able to click on these and see a video of the drawing process.

Another masterpiece!

The Mighty KC...

Wakka wakka!



I know the likeness is terrible, and the coloring job is..."questionable" at best, but for something that was nothing more than an Illustrator doodle (which last time I apparently lied about shying away from) I'm not going to sweat it too much. I'm actually not horrified by the clothing folds. It's not like I busted out some sweet ass textile origami or anything, but I have a hard time drawing that shit with a pencil, so getting something that doesn't look like a toilet paper mummy with a mouse is a victory in my book. Fun fact: if you "flip horizontal" over and over again in Photoshop, it looks like he's rapidly punching you. Pretend you stole his pudding and watch his fist fury EXPLODE.


Mo' dem doodles:











Also, almost all of this stuff is reference free, for you fuckers who think I can't draw more than a stick figure without looking at a photograph.

-Todd

Shameless Self Promotion...

I apologize for breaking the unspoken rules and making a non-art post, but since I was talking about this in the comments earlier, I thought I'd go ahead and reveal the (rotten) fruits of my labor:

Spladow.

It's a work in progress, just to get a template up that I can screw around with. I'll probably make a new banner image, maybe separate drawings and digital work, and add links to things like this blog. I realize this isn't going to win any awards for web design, but I'll be damned if even this simple little thing didn't take me the better part of a 9 hour work day to build(though most of that was just trying to learn how to do ANYTHING in Dreamweaver besides give myself a migraine).

If anyone has any recommendations or helpful advice, I'd really love to hear it. Thanks!

-Todd

Travis Touchdown...

No More Heroes is an awesome game. If you thought that Nintendo consoles shy away from adult content, be aware that this game contains a t-shirt featuring the slogan "I Love Tits" with a picture of, yes, some tits. Also be aware that I am doing everything in my power to procure such a garment for myself.

Moused this out while on the phone tonight. I couldn't for the life of me get the glasses to look right, but it wasn't worth spending any more time on.

Hopefully this marks the (no doubt temporary) end to my mouse/Illustrator experiments. My blog contributions have been way too heavy on that shit as of late. I've got 5 or 6 pages of ballpoint gesture studies I've been too lazy to scan that hopefully I'll get around to on Friday. Jesus it felt good to draw by hand again.



-Todd